I hear many people talking about how marriage requires change, compromises, both ‘parties’ coming to the middle ground to work the relationship. I completely agree! However, I would like to emphasize that the change, compromise, and coming to the middle ground is expected from both husband and wife. If only one is doing it, then it is not called a relationship between a husband and wife, instead it is actually called a relationship between master and slave.
Change is very necessary to make any relationship work, and marriage demands this the most. Even if it is a love marriage and the couple knows each other for a very long time, but it is different when you actually start living with that person, spending day and night with him or her. When you expect your significant other to change, the first step to achieve that is first make them realize and believe the fact that you will love them no matter what happens, you will love them with all the qualities and all the flaws. When you have made your significant other to believe that, you also make sure to act like that and mean it. Then comes the time when you tell your preferences and get to know your spouse’s preferences. They themselves will learn to change and adjust, because they would want to be loved more that you already do. You and your spouse are the recognition of each other to the outside world. The way a husband acts towards others represents him and his wife, and vice versa. One is always paranoid about what other people think about themselves, but then they will make themselves better to be a better representation of their spouse, and that will only happen if they show and act with love towards each other. I see in the Pakistani and Indian families, where girls live in joint families with their in-laws. Some families-in-law are not perfect, they even cause problems for the girl, but I see that they still endure that. The reason for that endurance is that their husbands are with them, they support them, if not openly then at least within their own privacy; the wife knows that she has the love of the man with whom she is in love with, and then all these other problems become insignificant.
Never let ego come in personal relationships, especially marriage. Never wait for the other person to change, or expect the other making the first move. Marriage is the most different relationship; the two people involved in this relationship are the closest to each other, mentally and physically. Your biggest priority should be to make your marriage work, because this relationship can last with you until your death. So why would you want to spoil such a beautiful relationship with ego and lies. They should never play a part in a bond like this; instead, they should be replaced by trust, honesty, and having faith in each other.
Make sure that your marriage depends on the relationship you share with your spouse, not on the requirement of your spouse to change in order to make the relationship work.