Since nowadays I am re-exploring myself and remembering what I liked or disliked and what my values are, I am ashamed to admit now that how I use to be a feminist and I never lived up to it. Now I think of it, there was a time when I would be arguing about the women’s rights, how we should have as much freedom as men tend to have, how we should be looked upon and respected equally compared to the men, how I was obsessed with feminist philosophers, such as Simone de Beauvoir and her book ‘The Second Sex’, how I would write papers on it…and just a year and the events that occurred changed it all. I am disappointed in myself to realize how much I changed myself, and forgot what was important to me. I guess the feminist group would be embarrassed to even include me with them, if they were to know what I went through and how wrong my reactions and thoughts were towards it.
So now, right here, I make a promise that I will be a true feminist; I will live according to what the social norms and my cultures expect from me, but will always remember to impose my feminist beliefs on it, if they were to be compromised in any way. I will also impart my theories and knowledge that I have on this topic, so that all the girls and women, especially the Indians and Pakistani females do not make the mistakes that I did, and also remain strong and fight for their rights through the course of their lives.
First step on becoming a strong woman and having the reins of your future in your hands and not in someone else’s hands, especially a male-figure, would be to know yourself. We hear this a lot, many people tend to give this advice, but we do not pay too much attention to it. However, I can’t stress this point enough, that how important it is to know one’s self. Know yourself, find out what you like or dislike, what you represent, your personality, your place in the environment you live in, your beliefs, morals and values…whatever there is to know…know that! Knowing is just one part, the other crucial part is to hold on to it, remember it, stay adamant to it. However, don’t become rigid…leave room to move around, to change parts of it while also staying intact with the whole…the key part is to maneuver the small things while sticking to the general idea. If you know that what you belief in is important and right, then you should be able to defend it…you should never give in, at least not without fighting for it. Only when you sit and think practically and realistically, and realize that maybe what you thought is really not all that good, only then give in, but even do that by keeping your dignity and respect intact. The reason I believe that knowing yourself is so important, is because if you possess this information, that will be like a priceless treasure and you will be the sole owner of it. If you know who you are, only then you would make someone believe in you completely.
So use whatever time you have on hand to work on this task. Whether that be by educating yourself, by reading books, by interacting with people, or just by sitting in your own solitude and pondering on what is the purpose of your life. Even take advantage of all sorts of relationships you are part of, analyze yourself in each one of them, criticize yourself, see where you lack and where you excel, learn how to highlight your qualities by overshadowing your inabilities. When a particular relationship fails, scrutinize it, see where things went wrong, the mistakes you committed and how to avoid making it in the future, and see how you were played, and what wrong was done to you, and learn how to detect these wrongdoings in the future and avoid becoming a victim of it again. When these mistakes are done once, make sure you don’t do it again, because life is already too short, it does not give you many chances. Remember, that every decision you make, whether it is small or big, it has the tendency to change the direction of your life. Make sure, that you are strong enough and have confidence in yourself to make your life decisions yourself and not give this right to anyone else. I am glad that in the past few months, I came back to my senses, and I started doing what I wanted to do, changed the course of events so that it would benefit me and help me to accomplish what I desired the most. Always keep this in mind that it’s the small things that lead to big things. Try your best to work your way through and take effective decisions about the small little things, this will automatically pave the right path towards the big things, and it would not be as difficult to handle those as you would have thought in the beginning.
I hope I was able to help you out, even if it’s a little. If I even helped one person, I would consider this mission was accomplished 🙂
Don’t worry there is more to this, this was just the first step…there is more to come, so stay tuned 🙂