Love: Do not make yourself an option

This word ‘love’ is such a small word, but it means differently to everyone.  If one was to ask the meaning of love from every person they knew, they all will answer something different, because the meaning of this word is derived from personal experiences, and depends on what is more important for that person in this world.

Even for me, the meaning of love is different from what others might think, some would agree and some would not.  If someone were to ask me what love is or how one can see it…I would say that it all depends on the actions.  What one says to another is not included in actions.  I have had experience where one might say something quite effectively, but in reality, he does not mean one word of it.  That is hypocrisy and it has no place in love.  So it is the actions where the answer lies, it depends on how the two people act towards each other.  For me, its not the materialistic things, or how many times one person says ‘I love you’ to another, but its actually how many times you show love in your gestures, in the way you look at each other.  I personally think, as many times you say the phrase ‘I love you’ it tends to lose its value more.  This phrase should be used rarely, reserved for memorable moments, to show how precious it is, that when you do end up using it, it will be a moment to cherish.  I always believe that it is the little things that count more; it increases the intensity of love.  These little things build up to the more important and big things.

I like the thought to see-off your loved one every morning when he goes to work, stand by the door, wait for him to smile, and once he does, you just know and have a feeling that today will be a good day.

When he kisses you on your forehead randomly, and makes you go all fluttery inside, that one kiss shows all the love he has for you.

The gesture of bringing flowers randomly or giving it to him, the surprise look on his face makes your day.  Moreover, whenever you see those flowers the following day in your home, it reminds you of that memorable moment.

It is always nice to write sweet little notes, and when he sees it, he reads it as if it is the last thing he is going to read, and hides it in this secret place that only he knows so he can go and read it to remind him how much she loves him.

When you know he will be coming home, you especially get ready for him, and when he comes, it is just the look of appreciation he gives you that makes all the hard work you did on yourself worth it.

When he knows the things you like or asks you about it, and then he goes out of the way to do it for you, its shows how special you are for him.

When you make a mistake, you know that no matter what happens he will support you, that sense of security just solves half of your problems.

And many more things….


But what if you do all of these things and do not get the response that you want,

What if, when you are waiting for his smile while standing by the door in the morning, he completely ignores, knowing that you are there just for him but still does not care.

What if, you get the kiss on the forehead as if you have begged for it so much like a kid does for a candy, and you just give in just to shut them up, does that kiss even hold that much importance then.

What if, one day you bring flowers for him just to make him happy and feel special, and he trashes them in front of you, would that be a normal thing to do?

What if, you write these sweet love notes, and he does not bother to read them, and then finally reads them after you have begged him so much, and then leaves them at a side as if it is not worth anything.

What if, you dress up so nicely for him, and he does not even notice it, not even acknowledge it and ignores it?

What if, you tell him the things you like, and he goes out of the way to do the opposite just so that we get hurt, is that love then?

What if, when you make a mistake, and the biggest fear that you have is how will he react and whether he will leave you this time, is this sense of security one has in love?

So now I wonder, is it worth to live in such a loveless relationship?  Life is already complicated and difficult, should we make it even harder by trying to make this kind of relationship work.  One more question boggles my mind is that while one is doing all these things to make the relationship work, is it because of love?  Is it even possible to love someone in this kind of situation?  I personally think one does all of this because of love, not because you want to give it, but more because you need it.  You need and crave love, so you end up doing all the things that might help you in getting it, even if it comes down to giving your love to him unwillingly.  But what is the point then, this relationship has been created into a farce from both sides, and you just have to come to this realization that it simply would not work out.  I mean if you keep on getting your car into accidents, and do not do anything to get it fixed, it’s likely to break down eventually.  Relationships are like this too, if you hurt it, you also have to heal it, however if there is no healing then the relationship is bound to break.  It all comes down to one lesson or you can say a hard and fast rule of a relationship:

“In love, never make someone your everything, if to them you are just a mere option.”


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