We like to believe that if you do good for someone, the other person will appreciate and might even return the favor. But let’s come back to reality of this world…that’s not what happens in real life, at least not all the time. This world that I like to believe is a good place, is not good at all, not completely! There are many selfish people living, and there is a lot of hypocrisy. It’s better for a person, to accept this fact now rather than going through an experience that might shatter all the hopes you had of this so-called “good world”.
There are some people living around you, for whom you can give up everything, sacrifice anything…but these greedy people won’t see the efforts you are doing to be accepted, instead they will ask for more, more and more. But when you have given everything, when you have no self respect left, when you don’t have an opinion of your own anymore, when you are not the person that you were…what should you do then, what has been left that you haven’t given up yet. Maybe it’s your life…but is your life even that valuable now when you are nothing as a person, I don’t think so! That is when you realize, that you have been cut a very bad deal; now you want to get out of it, and mend your broken self. During the process, of getting to know yourself again, getting your self-respect and confidence back, you realize exactly how much you gave up for this one person, who didn’t even have the decency to appreciate that or even falsely show that how thankful he is for the change we went through. Instead, you bear with more torture, more hypocrisy…which sometimes forces you to start thinking of ending this pathetic life lived among pathetic people.
But again even that’s not easy either, no wonder it’s called ‘LIFE’! It’s how Allah plays with things around you…when everything seems bleak to you, he sends or gives one thing that is like a shining ray of hope. It might be small, but because of this you don’t want to end your life, you don’t want to apply the beliefs crafted in your head just because of some few bad people on the entire mankind…and for some reason which befuddles me even now, after going through so much, you start thinking that everything will get better, we will move on to different and newer things, we will meet and live around good people like we want to. I don’t know, maybe all of this won’t happen, but then it’s the hope that Allah has given you through this one being that makes you take the next step to see what is waiting for you next. And if it’s not what you wanted, you still carry that ray of hope with you, because now the dynamics have changed…in the beginning that hope in the shape of an innocent human being existed for you to keep you sane and strong, but now your existence revolves solely on that being, because you have seen how cruel the world is… And some how you feel like you can make it better for that human being or at least teach him all you can to fend for himself in this world. In short, you want to make this world a better place for someone who showed you a way out of your own misery. I just hope I can do that for the gift that Allah gave me when I needed it the most!